My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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