There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Randomize
