my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
