At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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