Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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