Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
