I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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