11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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