I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
