We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
