in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My vagina is very pro this idea
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
