Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize