I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
