just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
