arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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