I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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