Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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