I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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