I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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