Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
