She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
