One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
