if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
