some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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