I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize