If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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