like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
