That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
