this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
