Nicole vs. Life
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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