and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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