She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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