You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
