He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
God I need to hump something, right now.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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