somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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