after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
