I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
