dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I am one with the molecules
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
