Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
50% drunk capacity currently
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
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