is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
