I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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