I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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