Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
