I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
