yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
