I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
