margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
