she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
