Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize