I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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