your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
