dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
