If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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