I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize