Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
