we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
