I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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