so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
