Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize