dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
