help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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