I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
