i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
